The Irritating Text Markup Language (ITML)

The sign of things to come! Now with
^and

Depressing, isn't it?

This page is now out of date. ITML has now been deprecated by the invention of DITML (Damned Irritating Text Markup Language) and XITML (eXtremely Irritating Text Markup Language).

There are many extensions to the basic HyperText Markup Language (HTML), including the The Mind Reading Markup Language (MRML) and The Real Aroma Text Markup Language (RATML). In response to recent trends on the web, I am proposing that we introduce a new extension of HTML, called the Irritating Text Markup Language (ITML). This will include the following extensions:

<MOVING SPEED=n>, where n represents a speed at which text should move. Setting n=0 gives static boring text, and setting n=255 makes the text completely unreadable without a light.
<ADVERTISING>, used to represent text that nobody will read.
<LIES PLAUSIBILITY=n>, where n indicates a plausibility reading. n=255 means scientific content, whereas n=0 means marketing content.
<IMAGECONTENT COVERAGE=n>, where n is a level between 0 and 255. n=0 corresponds to scientific content, whereas n=255 will cause every letter to be converted to a GIF so that every possible font can be rendered.
<DRIVEL>, used to enclose text consisting of random thoughts. This can be used in place of the <HTML> symbol.
<INCOMPATIBLE VENDOR=RJR>, to denote text that should only be rendered correctly on the browser of a given vendor specified by RJR. For added fun, RJR can take the value RANDOM in order to make it behave differently every time.
<UNREADABLE EFFORT=n>, to denote text whose color is chosen so as to make it unreadable. In addition, the tag SHRINK can be used to render text too small to read.

The origins of the ITML started with the addition of the <FONT>, <MARQUEE>, and <BLINK> extensions to standard HTML. We are just carrying it a little bit further in the same direction.

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